The Art of Ministering

By Rev. Melissa Guite Mantha

One of the first questions I had to answer to be accepted into the School of Sacred Ministries was, "What does the phrase "We are all ministers" mean to you?" I headed for the dictionary first to begin to answer that question. My first impression of being a minister was one who is the pastor of a church and authorized to preach there and provide sacraments and rituals. As I read all the entries in the dictionary, I began to see that being a minister was so much more inclusive. It was being helpful. It was administering to the needs of others. In that regards, my mother was my minister for years!

Now that I am busy in my own area of ministry, I see how the mantle that I wear has broadened that perspective even farther. I really would not have imagined all the ways in which I would be an Interfaith Minister. Most of the time, I am at home ministering to my little girl. This is an area of ministry that had always attracted me and I never needed to be ordained nor needed any certificate. In fact, all I had to do was travel half way around the world to India to sign up for this area of my ministry. For me, that blessing came three quarters of my way through my program and I enjoyed having my daughter and husband at my ordination.

Being the Administrator of the School of Sacred Ministries, was not a job that I had ever thought I wanted to do. Yet here in the middle of that word was the idea of ministering. More inner growth than I could ever have imagined came along with this ministry job. I really had to dig deep and notice my reactions to situations. I learned how to maintain being an un-anxious presence in the middle of chaos and how to find all the time to fit it all in! Learning how to delegate was incredibly helpful in the art of administrating.

My current passion is that of celebrating weddings! Weddings, like people, come in all different shapes and sizes and themes. Remembering always that I am here to serve others, I have listened carefully, asked lots of questions and have designed weddings that truly reflect the couple getting married. I am having so much fun! No two weddings are exactly alike and the couples often promote creating new rituals that have never been done before!

Then, there are always the surprises and the emergency ministry that I have been called upon to do. It is amazing how I have risen to the occasion. I'm not sure there is necessarily a need for a course in emergency ministry but I was definitely prepared by the courses in conflict resolution, couple's counseling and active listening. I remember the first time; I took a couple through conflict resolution. We were sitting in Borders café working on their ceremony. There was a major disagreement by the Jewish bride over how big a role the Catholic priest was going to play in her ceremony. The Catholic groom wanted a lot more than she did. I was a little shocked when they started to raise their voices, cut each other off, and begin to hurl insults. Usually my couples want to make a better impression on me than that! Thankfully I had my wits about me and remembered my training and we were able to find their common goal in even having a wedding to begin with. Amazingly, the each said the exact same thing!

I haven't needed to use my CPR training yet, but I did come close in a wedding ceremony where the groom fainted as I was reaching to get the rings from the best man. This was certainly something I never expected to happen in an air conditioned room! His family and friends caught him before he thudded to the floor. When I saw that the bride was taking the whole situation very personally I knew that we were headed for trouble. He also was not coming around that well. Quickly, the catering manager and I decided to do the wedding in two parts. When the groom was well enough to walk, I escorted them back to a private room so we could all talk. Usually, couple's counseling is done before or after a wedding and here I was doing it in the middle while their guests were having cocktails. At first, there were tears, and anger, and shame. With my guidance and training, they actually began to listen to each other and finally hear each other. We made a plan of action together and before we went back out, we were all giggling about winning prize money for the video! I was so thrilled when the crowd smiled and greeted them with applause and support. The bride was back on cloud nine!

If you had told me that my experience of ministry would be about raising my beautiful daughter, running a school, designing wedding ceremonies, doing conflict resolution, and performing emergency couple's counseling, I would have told you 5 years ago that you had the wrong person. You must have me confused with someone else. Now, I could not imagine it otherwise and I am grateful for all the experiences that life has provided.

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